Yesterday was a classic 'mummy daze' for me.
It was meant to be a fun, family day but circumstances meant it was far from fun.
For starters it was wet and miserable weather for most the day. We had the three kids with us cooped-up in our little house. It was hectic and it stressed me out.
Added to the mix was the fact that I was behind in the washing. Having Big Bro stay for the week meant I had an extra person's clothes to wash too, so my basket it was over-flowing. This kind of chaos stresses me out. Mostly I can handle it, but when other factors are added to the mix it all feels a bit too much. Having a floor-drobe of unfolded clean washing didn't help my head-space either.
Normally once I reach a certain threshold of untidiness I get myself into a frenzied cleaning-spree. But yesterday (and today) J-Man was sick. He was clingy and tired and whingey. This meant our invisible umbilical cord was about 3 centimetres long and I could achieve not much more than comb my hair and put my contact lenses in.
I was a ticking time-bomb really.
And then Big Bro decided that he didn't like any of his clothes anymore and that he wouldn't be forced to walk down the street looking like an embarrassment (dramatic I know, but legitimate feelings none-the-less). There may have been equally dramatic door-slamming and feet-stomping at this point. And not from Big Bro.
It was around about this time that I decided I needed to remove myself from the confines of our four walls.
I escaped to the ocean, as I often do when seeking solace.
I went to the harbour to watch the swell surge and crash over the break-wall.
The wind roared in my ears and the mood of the sky reflected my emotions.
It felt cathartic to be understood by these powerful elements.
But then J-Man did a poo and I was fragrantly brought back to reality. I drove home to change his nappy and return to the daze of my life, hoping my mood would change as soon as the weather did.
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